Monday, December 7, 2009

Inching closer

In 35 days I go back to school.

There is this huge lump in my throat and a million pounds on my back. I'm so afraid that the pain will get really bad again and I will mess it all up over again. There are so many unanswerable questions about my health and I don't know what to expect.

I feel like a kindergartner headed off to her very first day. No scratch that - a kindergartner doesn't know any bad; they're able to be full of optimism. Whereas, I've experienced the headaches (no pun intended) and the trials, and I'm scared to death.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to do better than expected and pass with distinction, but I don't think that I can do that. I think I need to lower my expectations and just pass! A lot of my problems have stemmed from trying to be the overachiever. Now is the time to let go and enjoy this second chance that I've so graciously been given.

Dad, please lay your healing hands on me.
I am yours.
I'm a very nervous girl right now.
Calm me down please.
I am yours.
Only You have the ability to heal me.
I am yours.
Matthew 6.34 - "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."
Philippians 4.6 - "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."