Friday, July 18, 2014

Late Night Smiles

As of one week ago I gave birth to a seriously beautiful baby boy.

We named him Sawyer and I can't put into words how awesome he is.

As the days have progressed since his birth I have began noticing how anxious I am getting in the evening.

Call it the 'what goes bump in the night' fear, but as much as I try to relax nighttime just brings out the nervous/anxious momma in me and the what-if questions just plague me.

The night before last I started downloading devotionals to help get my focus on something positive, and yes, to help keep me awake. I also have been praying more than I have in a long time. Funny how life changes bring out the uptick in looking towards Him.

Now, I know that the emotions I'm showing and the thoughts I'm having are perfectly normal and will pass. Michael and I have also been rock stars on communicating to each other which helps a lot.

But anyways, my point is that something magical happened last night.

My Sawyer made my night come alive! Every time he'd pull away while I was trying to feed him he would give me just the biggest smiles. Yes, I realize they were technically probably caused by gas, but I don't care they helped me keep calm and happy. And I know with everything in me that they were from God to help me know that every little thing is going just as it should and we're doing great. I felt so much peace in the midst of my middle of the night feedings and had the best night I've had yet just because of those smiles. It wasn't that he ate better and let me change his diaper without freaking out. His simple act of smiling at me made my night, and I, in turn, give many thanks to God.