Sunday, July 26, 2015

Fresh Eyes Take 2 – Prada & Tiffany Style

I’m not going to be one of those people who say “Ugh, it’s been so long since I’ve written. I’m going to be better and not do this again.” I wish that were true, but I know myself. This last year has been a whirlwind of a year. We had a kid and we both work full-time. Enough said in that statement alone to encompass our current life.

Cliff notes of what the what is going on so I can move on to bigger things: I last wrote about our desire to be in Lawrence after buying a house and moving to Topeka. As of a few days ago we have officially lived in Lawrence again for a month. Colorado didn’t happen – we felt it wasn’t right. About seven months down the road God showed us why it wasn’t right by us learning that everyone in the office he would have been at have been laid off. Whew, close call there! But earlier this spring Michael did take a new job in Olathe and we were blessed to sell our house very quickly and move back to Lawrence. This new job isn’t going so great though and we’re still exploring our options. So, just like last time – we’re still a lot a bit lost but oh so very hopeful.
I changed the title of my blog. I don’t know why but last week it just really hit me that I felt it was an incredibly selfish sounding title, even though that wasn’t the intention at all. I do want my life to effect change. I want to live so that others see God and come to know Him, but it’s not my life effecting change, it’s God’s Truth becoming known through me.
I’m someone that has always been very reflective of the past. Am I staying true to who I am/how I always saw myself? What can I learn from the past? Where am I now compared to then? You get the point. Once upon a time I was called or labeled a rebel. In high school I was viewed as a rebel and I didn’t believe it, or more accurately just didn’t see or get it. Rebel to me was someone who was disrespectful, not following the rules, an outcast, they go out of their way to cause trouble. While some who know me (cough, cough incorrectly) may have that view. Ten years post high school I think I finally get it. I see what they saw and I miss that person desperately.
I was going through a memory box during my time at home after having Sawyer and I came across slips of paper in an envelope. Each slip of paper had either just a word or a brief statement about me from a peer in my Developmental Leadership class. More than one slip has rebel on it. I remember being angry at those words then. I missed the whole point. When brought together with a few other slips it all started making sense…ten years later. Other slips talked about my work with FCA and making it “popular” again or my writing for the newspaper, and a few slips had written on them that I was very outspoken about my faith or I was strong in my beliefs.
I was a rebel. I went against social norms for a typical teenager and was outspoken about being Christian in school, especially writing for the school’s paper. I wrote many editorials about things happening in the world from my perspective as a believer. I stood out/up and didn’t worry about looking cool or peer pressure when it came to expressing my thoughts on what was happening in light of what I knew about how God wants us to act/be.

And boy has ten years flown by and I’ve gotten away from that girl. So yes, once upon a time I was called Rebel, and it’s time to find her again.